apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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