Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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