Ambien. No doubt about it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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