What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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