yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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