Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
