You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
