and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
