a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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