Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
