All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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