Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
