we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
