If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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