Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
