He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
