3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
