why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
