She's JV to your varsity
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
