that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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