Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
