even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
