I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
