my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
