next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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