I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
