Can Purell be used as lube?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
