I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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