Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
