I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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