I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
