Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
