i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
