i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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