i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize