i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
