69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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