Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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