'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
