I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
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I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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