anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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