Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
