You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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