ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
