Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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