I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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