even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
