so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
