Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
