sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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