do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
