DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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