Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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