He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
