She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
