Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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