There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
