he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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