I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize