i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
