Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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