what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you didnt know i had herpes?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
