i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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