I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize