i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
