i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize