is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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