You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
