i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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