I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
