Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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